


Less Interested

by shyasamouse



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Asexual Character, Asexual!Bilbo, Battle of Five Armies Fix-It, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-13
Updated: 2014-08-13
Packaged: 2018-02-12 22:48:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2127357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shyasamouse/pseuds/shyasamouse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bilbo had never before thought of himself as different from any other hobbit lad, but it appeared that there were certain aspects of life where he was. </p><p>Asexual!Bilbo and the relationships he builds throughout his lifetime.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Less Interested

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! So this is the first fic I've written and any feedback would be greatly appreciated. 
> 
> To explain my motivations for writing this, I'm asexual myself and sometimes get tired of the lack of representation both within fandoms and out. Bilbo is one of the few characters who is pretty much canonically ace, and I wanted to explore that in a way I felt befitted his personality. 
> 
> Obviously the ending is AU as I've ignored BOFA events, but the beginning is mostly canon. (I made Lobelia older than she is in the books, but that was one of the only major things I did.) 
> 
> So that's about it. *shrugs*

Bungo Baggins died just shortly after his son's 21st birthday. Winter hit early that year, and brought new diseases that many hobbits were unable to fight off effectively. Bungo was one of few losses, but that didn't help his family in their grief.

 

Even at that age, Bilbo know just how much his father meant to his mother. Bungo had been Belladonna's reason for returning home for years before Bilbo’s birth. Without him, she was not whole, a mere shadow of her former boisterous self.

 

Belladonna was never a delicate creature, and by pure stubbornness and force of will, she lasted nearly 9 years more. She wanted to live to see her boy's coming of age, however her health began to fail and she found herself in an situation that she could not push past.

 

Soon word had spread around that Belladonna Baggins would not last through the year. As she suspected, it was not long before 'caring' and 'worried' relatives began to stop by to see how she was doing for themselves. Belladonna, as had been her routine since she was young, ignored them and focused on making sure her son would be supported in the last few years until his 33rd birthday.

 

Bilbo had known what was happening from the first day that Belladonna had been unable to rise easily from her bed in the morning. He joined his mother in her planning, hoping to ensure that he would be supported without her.

 

As her time drew closer, Bilbo and Belladonna found themselves isolated in their own little world, avoided by family and friends. The other hobbits stayed away, afraid of catching death and unsure how to speak with someone who not be there shortly. This was not unusual behavior, and any family who was losing a member or had just done so knew to expect, and often dread, the ostracizing.

 

For a short while after Belladonna finally passed, Bilbo did not care that he had not spoken to anyone in days, to busy caught up in his own grief and pain to even notice. Then the next few months were busy as could be, with each and every one of his relatives wanting to make sure he was in a good place to take over the responsibilities that came with owning land. It was only later that he began to realize that he was lonely. Unable to court until he came of age because of his position, Bilbo was separated from the other young hobbits. Not being able to participate in such things made him an outcast, or at the very least, distanced.

 

Bilbo wished for closer friends now that his family was gone. In earlier years, he had not sought out companionship, being content with his family. Now, Bilbo had no established rapport with another and was disadvantaged in creating it, having not done so before.

 

When he finally reached his coming of age, Bilbo was relieved and saw it as an opportunity to connect with other young hobbits. Despite being fairly solitary, he had always dreamed of closeness, of having someone who understood you and stayed with your side through everything.

 

But as he began to join the hobbit lads in their discussions, Bilbo realized that there was a part of marriage he had neglected to think about. It seemed that all they could think about was the physical side of things, ability was a major player in their choosing of a possible spouse. Yet this was something Bilbo had never found particularity important.

 

Bilbo had never before thought of himself as different from any other hobbit lad, but hearing these things he wasn't quite so sure anymore. He evaluated his feelings and motivations in comparison to theirs and found himself lacking. True, he felt arousal and acted on it, but always alone and without really thinking of anything. He had always assumed that he would eventually have sex and was content to wait to do so. How the others felt seemed to be on an entirely different level. Instead of waiting, they had gone forward and done it, and did everything in their power to do it again. Bilbo could not imagine wanting sex that badly, and yet all around him he saw evidence that people did feel that way.

 

That was not all. Another topic of much consideration was the attractiveness of the perspective partner. To Bilbo, a person's personality had always been important than their looks, but he seemed nearly alone in that opinion. The lads talked about every aspect of a person's features and how lovely they were, but Bilbo did not understand. He didn't see why they wanted to sleep with anyone with a pretty face, for he had never felt the need.

 

Bilbo decided fairly quickly that he needed to understand why he didn't feel the same way as everyone else seemed to and went down the path of practical exploration. It wasn't hard to convince a hobbit or two to come over at a time when no one would notice. In the end, Bilbo had no qualms about giving them a lengthy kiss goodbye, having enjoyed the experience thoroughly.

 

Yet still when he rejoined the conversations that the others had so often, Bilbo was again confused at how their experiences differed. They used words like fireworks, overwhelming, and consuming while he thought that much less dramatic descriptions suited him just fine. For the first time since he was young, Bilbo panicked.

 

The dream he had in those earlier years of returning to hobbit society seemed to be slipping out of his hands like water through a sieve. Bilbo spent a few days in frantic terror that this weirdness of his would be noticed, because even the hint of strangeness could ruin a reputation, and his chance. He held his tongue in discussions, afraid his newly found secret would slip out when he wasn't paying attention. He did not want to lose his place in a world he had just been allowed to enter.

 

Full of fear, Bilbo spent the next months avoiding courting and refusing any late night companionship. To even attempt a tryst seemed to be tempting fate. Eventually he began to feel ridiculous and wondered if perhaps people would even notice that he was different. Bilbo had always been better than most at acting, having been taught by his father how not to irritate various relatives.

 

Determined that he would not spend his life living in fear, Bilbo quite easily spread the word that he wanted to court, and within a day or two, was accosted with volunteers. His wealth attracted many, most of whom he dismissed quickly. As for the rest, he started off tentatively, not willing to expose to much of himself to soon. Bilbo refused to have sex early in the relationships, and had partners leave him for it.

 

After a few tries, Bilbo saw a pattern that made him want to curl up in a ball and never come out of his home again. He'd think everything was going just fine. They would last long enough that he was willing to sleep together, and then it would go wrong. Bilbo would enjoy the passion but there was always a catch. His partner wanted to have sex more often than he did, and complained about it. Or maybe they didn't feel that he was as into it as they were, leading to some shocking conclusions, like one lad who refused to believe that Bilbo wasn't cheating on him. It seemed like any time he tried to establish a real tie, his inability to feel as strongly about physical intimacy broke them apart. The ideal of getting married and settling down had never felt further from his grasp.

 

It was at this point that Bilbo started to let himself give up. He could never accomplish his dreams of closeness with another, so instead he pushed them into the furthest regions of his mind. For a year or so, Bilbo rejected any and every offer of courtship, citing any reason he could to get people of his back. He wasn't exactly happy, but was still able to keep up friendships by being as respectable as possible otherwise.

 

The other hobbits had begun to label him as a bachelor for life, when he met her. Lobelia Bracegirdle, just coming onto the scene of hobbit society, was a like a splash of color on a blank canvas. She was determined to make a name for herself, whether it be by her own making, or through a good husband. Although her fashion sense could be a bit... lacking sometimes, Lobelia was sharp, with a tongue that could cut anyone down in seconds. Bilbo was _fascinated_.

 

He had never met anyone so contradictory. Lobelia wanted to be the cream of the crop but she refused to do so quietly. To act the way she did, somehow coming off as both belligerent and yet proper was unheard of. When they met, Bilbo found her a worthy partner in trading insults hidden in commendations. The challenge was thrilling and they seemed to spend more and more time in each others company, clashing over matters small and large.

 

It came as much of a surprise to him as to the other hobbits when Lobelia asked him to court her. Bilbo hadn't even thought of courting in years, and was so shocked that his manners took over and said yes for him. When what he had done caught up with him, Bilbo freaked out. He knew that he did not feel certain things to extent that the other hobbits did, and he knew that for others to realize this could mess up his life. However, as Bilbo thought about Lobelia and their relationship, he had never wanted more for something to last.

 

He allowed the suit to continue, but told Lobelia right away that he would not put up with intimacy of the physical sort before they were sure of where they wanted it to go. For the year that they were together, Bilbo was happy. Many of the other hobbits side-eyed their relationship, not seeing past the frequent arguments. Those people thought that it would not work, that they would find some topic that tore the couple apart. But Bilbo and Lobelia did not heed their disbelief. Their affair became a comfortable thing, warm and familiar as time went by.

 

By that point, their courtship had gone on long enough that people expected them to get married, and neither were against the idea. Bilbo knew that he had to talk to Lobelia before they made plans or actually did it, because he couldn't bear to still be keeping secrets past that point. Although nervous, he wasn't exactly worried, he believed that she understood him well enough to see the truth in his eyes and love him anyway.

 

The day before Bilbo planned to propose, something that he knew she had already found out and was preparing for, he sat down with her and explained his problems. She didn't quite get what he was saying, but neither did she freak out on him, or ask many questions. It was only later that he realized a lack of curiosity was a bad thing. Then, Bilbo was just glad to have the discussion over with.

 

For the next couple weeks, everything was going beautifully. Bilbo asked for Lobelia's hand, she said yes, and arrangements were made. They also had sex, a lot of it. At first, he didn't ask any questions about it. Although Bilbo wasn't that interested, he wanted to please her, and so was willing to do as she wished. After awhile, he wondered if they really needed to sleep together nearly every night, when soon they would be married anyway. Confused, Bilbo leveled the question at her as they lay in bed.

 

“Lobelia, why are you coming here so often? Surely someone will notice, and we'd be in all sorts of trouble,” he asked, turning to look at her.

 

Lobelia raised herself up on her elbows, her long dark hair curling around her arms. “Isn't it obvious?” she questioned, her eyebrows drawing closer in confusion.

 

Bilbo just looked at her, and she moved closer to him, tucking herself under his arm. “Bilbo”, she said gently, in a tone of voice that his stomach clench, “I'm trying to help you.”

 

And with the the twisting in his insides became a burning hurt. “Help me, Lobelia? What, exactly, is wrong with me?” he spat.

 

“Please, dear, you know there's something wrong with you. It's probably nothing a little love can't fix. Give it a little time, and you'll be normal”, Lobelia scolded him, as though he were a recalcitrant child and not older than she.

 

The pain moved higher up his torso, and Bilbo wondered if it was possible to hear a heart breaking. He had thought Lobelia of all people would have understood, would have accepted... No. He wasn't going to sit here, wallow in his upset, and let her continue. Pulling his mind back to the conversation, Bilbo realized she was still talking, saying something about not maturing as fast as everyone else, and how sex would 'make it all better'.

 

Bilbo sat up straight, pushing Lobelia away from him. “Stop, 'belia. Just stop.” He took a deep breath, steeling himself for what he knew was coming. “I don't need to be fixed. Yes, I don't feel certain things like everyone else, but that's who I am. I can't change. I'm sure I even want to change.”

 

Lobelia spluttered at him, “Wha... Bilbo! Can you hear yourself right now? Do you know what you're doing? This could ruin your reputation, your life! That's more important than anything!”

 

“Are saying I should care more about what others think of me than how I feel? That's callous.” Bilbo said, glaring and daring her to keep trying to convince him.

 

Lobelia shot up, narrowing her eyes at him. “You-you sound just like your indecent, floozy of a mother! That woman...”

 

“Lobelia, I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to return the ring I gave you”, he stated in matter-of-factually, and as she gaped at him, he felt no regrets. If she really knew him, she would know that he loved and missed his parents more than anything. To insult his mother, not to mention ignoring his feelings, it put a distance between them that Bilbo doubted would ever be repaired.

 

Yet, Lobelia still didn't seem to get why he was so upset. She was still trying to cajole him into rethinking his decision as he took the ring from her and pushed her out the door.

 

* * *

 

A day hadn't even passed before the whole of the Shire knew that the marriage was off. The same voices who had foretold that the relationship wouldn't last now rejoiced in their rightness. They crowed over how they had been sure that an argument would break up the couple, and were correct. Bilbo ignored all of them, and tried his best to act like nothing had happened. A bachelor could still be respectable after all, if they followed the unspoken rules and kept their head down.

 

In the meantime, while trying to salvage his reputation, Bilbo avoided anything to do with Lobelia. It became increasingly difficult, as people seemed to think they would be doing him a favor by telling him that she had run off with one of his younger cousins, Otho Sackville-Baggins.

 

When they had been together, Bilbo remembered thinking that he had never seen anyone so lovely. Now walking past her in the street, he just saw a haughty, narrow face with a up-turned nose. Her eyes, which had seemed to sparkle with hidden mischievousness before, stared cruelly around, and caught on unsuspecting victims, who were flayed by that sharp tongue. It was as though he was seeing all the bad in her that had been hidden from him before, perhaps by her doing or his own unwillingness to look.

 

At first, he was angry with her for betraying his love and trust. Time passed, and Bilbo's rage evaporate into lingering loneliness. He felt drained, all the work he did to restore his propriety lacked reason in his mind. With nothing else to do, Bilbo made himself into the very image of a respectable hobbit.

 

Bilbo dealt with it and moved on. He ignored the pain in his chest, and the want to do something more interesting. Intimacy seemed a foreign thing, and he pretended that this didn't matter.

 

Of course, just as he was beginning to think that he could live the rest of his life this way, Gandalf strolled into the Shire and tricked him into joining his 'little' adventure.

 

* * *

 

The quest had been long and dreadful, and often times during their travels Bilbo just wished to be back in his home, no matter how lonely. In some moments though, when he sat pressed in between two of the dwarves as stories were passed around the campfire, he wanted everything to stay exactly as it was.

 

In the end, once the dragon was dead and the battles fought, Bilbo thought he should leave. He knew the business with the Arkenstone hadn't not been forgotten by most of the dwarves, no matter what promises the Company made him. Returning to the Shire would give his friends time to calm the ones who were still upset, and he could tie affairs up back there.

 

Bilbo made plans to leave as soon as possible after the Battle, but found that his friends were making it particularly difficult. Every time he was ready to go, suddenly there was some new issue that needed his immediate assistance. From meetings amongst royalty to farming problems to mining problems (how exactly was he supposed to help with that?), Bilbo was delayed until winter began to set in. At that point there was no hope of traveling, the cold and snow made it treacherous at best and suicidal at worst.

 

So the hobbit was stuck in Erebor for another few months, until spring came and brought warmth with it. That was not the part that bothered him the most. Bilbo could deal with his overenthusiastic new friends forcing him to spend time with them. However, to spend time with the Company was to run the risk of having to talk to Thorin.

 

Neither had as much as a few words to each other since the King Under the Mountain had been lying on what could have been his deathbed. He said he had forgiven Bilbo, but did he even remember saying so? Scared to confront the dwarf, Bilbo determinedly avoided Thorin, hoping to stave off the conversation.

 

Somehow he wasn't exactly surprised when one day, K **íli** and F **íli** came careening down the hallway, grabbed his arm, and dragged him into a nearly empty room with no explanation before running off, giggling like children. Stumbling, Bilbo was helped up by a steady hand, and looked up to see Thorin standing in front of him, looking reluctantly amused.

 

Bilbo blushed hotly, cursing the troublemakers in his mind, and trying not to make a mess of this meeting. “Er, hello Thorin. Sorry about that, I have no idea what those two are up to...” he trailed off, looking at the floor.

 

“I'm sure we'll find out soon enough.” Thorin huffed, obviously used to his nephews' antics by now. “Perhaps... while you are here we could speak? We have not spent much time together as of late”.

 

Bilbo glances up to see Thorin looking surprisingly earnest. “Yes, yes of course, if you're able”, he says hurriedly. “I wouldn't want to get in your way or anything. I mean, you must have quite a lot to do? Running a kingdom and whatnot?”

 

Thorin gave Bilbo a serious look, “I always have time for the members of the Company,” he paused, and softened. “Bilbo, I just wanted to make sure that you are still comfortable around me. I hope you realize that you are forgiven in your actions, but I understand my reaction was much less excusable.”

 

“You weren't in your right mind, Thorin! I already forgave you”, Bilbo started indignantly, then slowed. “We had that conversation at such a... trying time. I didn't want to force any decisions on you.”

 

Thorin smiled softly at him, took his hands “You are not forcing anything on me, my friend.” He dropped Bilbo's hands but moved an arm to his shoulders, pulling him out of the room. “Come now, I believe we have a dinner to attend.”

 

* * *

 

For the next months, Bilbo still found himself busy, not just with work, but with friendly gatherings. The Company were some of the few dwarves that had stayed, many of Dain's electing to go back home. It seemed that around every corner was one of them, waiting to talk with him and surprisingly, the most common was Thorin.

 

Running into the King every other day was beginning to play havoc with Bilbo's nerves. Throughout their quest, he had developed a certain... appreciation for Thorin. Seeing the King so often made it all the more likely that he would notice these feelings, and Bilbo was terrified that he would. The hobbit had no reason to believe that Thorin would accept his favor, and this combined with the knowledge that every other relationship he had tried to build had utterly failed, put Bilbo on edge.

 

Yet the more he hoped that he would be able avoid Thorin, the more time they spent together. Not entirely sure how to deal with the sudden upswing in interaction, he went with the flow and did his best not to look upset at the change.

 

Even when at meals with the rest of their group, Bilbo was placed next to Thorin more often than not, although sometimes Bofur would come along and pull him over to his side. On one such day, they began to speak of courting, in honor of the coming return of Gloin and Bombur's lovely wives. Bilbo drifted in and out of the conversation, happy to let the words swirl over his head as he ate. There was a pause, and glancing up, he found himself the center of attention.

 

“Master Boggins,” said Kíli, looking painfully eager, “What are hobbit courtships like? I've never heard anything about them.”

 

Faced with the ridiculous puppy dog eyes that the young dwarf had pulled out, all Bilbo could do was sigh and try to answer the question. “Really we don't do anything special,” he said. “Courting is very simple, and there's hardly any structure to it. I doubt you'd find it very interesting.”

 

“C'mon now lad,” Gloin huffed, nudging him. “Surely there's some sort of reason to it.”

 

“I suppose there are a couple things that are expected,” Bilbo replied reluctantly. “Most of it is the basic prove-you-can-provide-for-your-partner-type. Both partners are supposed to cook for each other, help tend the other's home, and give three gifts that show they know their chosen well. Everything but the presents are just formalities really.”

 

“Why only three gifts? Why not more, like we do?” Ori asked, leaning forward.

 

“Each gift represents another stage of courting. The first is very simple, like clothing or flowers, and shows that the couple is willing to get to know each other. The second is little more expensive, and is used to imply progress. The third is completely tailored to fit the personality and likes of the one receiving it, and almost always precludes marriage,” Bilbo explained, feeling the old twinge at the reminder of his dropped engagement.

 

Bofur nodded, “So I'm going to make a wild guess here and say that people only give the third gift once.” He smiled, and shrugged, “Seems like a weird way to go 'bout courting, but each to their own, I suppose.”

 

“Well, it is seen as particularly scandalous for someone to go through the entire affair again. It is believed that the couple should have learned enough about each other by the end of the second phase to decide if they wanted to continue”, Bilbo said.

 

“So Bilbo, how far have your courtships gotten then?” Fíli questioned, pulling a face so innocently curious that the hobbit immediately grew suspicious. “You did make it seem as though there was no one waiting for you back in the Shire.”

 

Still wary, both of Fíli's motives and of revealing more than he wished, Bilbo answered carefully, “You know I'm not married, and since you care so much, hardly any of my dalliances even made to the second stage.”

 

Bombur frowned, and turned to look at Bilbo, “Why ever not? You are such a good person, that I am surprised that they would not see that.”

 

Bilbo flushed at the compliment and said, “Well, it was mostly my fault, truthfully. Frequently I wasn't that interested to begin with, and that stained the relationships.” He shrugged and changed the topic.

 

Unnoticed by Bilbo, Thorin's face got a lot more brooding after the last comment had been said.

 

* * *

 

As spring approached, Bilbo felt the need to return to the Shire grow. He didn't think he'd actually be able to stay and live there, not with his friends so far away, but he had to go back and gather his things. Lobelia had already casued him to lose much, she didn't get to take his home too. Bilbo had already resolved to give Bag End to his cousin, Drogo, who was nicer than most of them.

 

As the time drew near, the hobbit realized the great distress that his friends seemed to feel at his imminent departure. All of them were very unwilling to let him go but surprisingly, also weren't trying to force him to stay as they had before. Bilbo had to assume they'd give up on keeping him there.

 

The week he was going to leave with Gandalf, who had just returned, Bilbo found out why his friends were so upset. He nearly fell over for laughing at them, before righting himself and reassuring the worried group of dwarves at dinner that night, that he was not leaving forever. It appeared that they had all thought he was going away permanently, when really he just wanted to collect some things.

 

Eventually Bilbo and Gandalf went on their way, after a long and tearful goodbye. The trip to the Shire was much less disastrous as the one to Erebor, for which Bilbo was very grateful.

 

When he made it back home, he was greeted with incredulous stares and abundant gossip. He did his best to ignore it, reminding himself that the only people whose opinions should matter were his dwarves. Getting all his things together took longer than expected, as the Sackville-Baggnses had taken over while he'd been away. Finally, the hobbit had completed everything to his liking, the house given to Drogo, responsibilities over with, what he wanted to bring tightly packed.

 

On his way out, Bilbo ran into a caravan of dwarves, all looking as though they had planned this trip for months. The guards hailed him, and he was not surprised to find that they were traveling to the same place as he. The story of the retaking of Erebor had already swept through Middle Earth, and this group was no exception. Bilbo avoided revealing that he was one of the Company, in case any were still upset at his actions, calling himself Bungo Underhill. He made up a story about visiting Beorn's house, and apparently waxing poetic about the shapeshifter's flowers was enough to make any dwarf stop asking.

 

It was strange to travel among people to whom his adventure was nothing more than a story. Bilbo got to hear them discuss it and watched the few children in the group playact scenes. More often then not, he felt an itch to correct them, step in and tell them how it really went but he forced the feeling down.

 

Bilbo eavesdropped and sidled into conversations, wondering if there was anyone in the group that he might have heard mentioned around the Company campfire. Even so, he nearly dropped his bag on his toe when he heard that Dís, daughter of Thrain, was leading the caravan. That was not all, Bombur and Gloin's families were also in attendance. In fact, it was quite likely that a good portion of the children he saw playing were Bombur's, as he had eight. Gimli, Gloin's son was a bit more elusive, being old enough to help out around the camp.

 

Over the trip, Bilbo was introduced to all of dwarves he had heard so much about. Gloin's Mizim was as lovely as described and extremely competent with a sword. Gimli was a near mirror image of his father, down to the temper. Bombur's Halla was soft, and had taught her husband how to cook. It was hard to place faces to the names of their children, as they ran around tirelessly. To his surprise, it turned out that Bifur was also married, his husband, Radan, a dwarf from other parts with thick dark hair braided delicately and skin like ink. Last was Dís, who except for the more intricate braids and longer beard, was Thorin's twin. She lead with ease and confidence, and was much more boisterous than her grumpy brother.

 

Goblins and wargs were much less willing to attack a whole caravan than fairly small group of travelers. When they do, the guards and trained dwarves easily overpowered them. Mirkwood rather reluctantly let them pass through, sending elven patrols out to watch over the group. Bilbo spent most of those weeks hiding from the elves who could recognize him. The dwarves were close enough to their mountain and used to Bilbo that they did not notice that he did not stop when planned, excepting a few. Those just do just watched him curiously.

 

As they passed by Laketown, Erebor loomed in the distance, and Bilbo slipped out for a few days to catch up with Bard. However he managed to stay on the tail end of the group and enter with them, automatically moving to the middle to escape prying eyes.

 

The dwarves were too busy being greeted to notice the little hobbit slipping through the crowd and getting out of the way. Bilbo pulled his stuff into an unused corner and watched with a smile as the Company is reunited with their families. Kíli and Fíli tucked into Dís's arms, and Thorin stood nearby as though waiting his turn. Bofur, Bombur, and Bifur disappeared into a giant family group hug. Gloin looked as though he'd never let his wife and son out of his sight again.

 

Bilbo waited as the entrance hall area slowly emptied. The Company lingered, rejoicing in the reunion. He saw family members being introduced to the other members, and wondered if it was time to reveal himself. Ultimately, the decision was stolen from him when Kíli spied him in corner. The young prince ran over, everyone else too used to his antics to pay attention to what he's doing. But when he got close enough to see that it really was Bilbo, and tackled the hobbit in a hug, they turned to look as one.

 

The shout of his name resounded through the hall as the group moved forward to encircle the hobbit. By the time Bilbo managed to extract himself from the middle, the dwarves he was traveling with look shocked.

 

Dís looked him up and down, and said “I was wondering what would possess a hobbit to travel so far from the West.”

 

“I didn't want to cause any fuss.” Bilbo stammered, as red as a tomato, “If you would please forgive for hiding my identity.”

 

She grinned at him and winked, “I think I can forgive you. You've done a lot for us after all.”

 

* * *

 

It wasn't much later, a few weeks, when Thorin asked Bilbo to come walk with him. He led Bilbo to a small room, tucked into the side of the mountain.

 

“I thought you might like this room. Think of it as a gift for all that you have done for us.” Thorin said, sounding almost nervous, if Bilbo was any judge of his moods. Wrapping an arm around Bilbo's waist, he pulled him out onto a balcony attached to the room.

 

Bilbo suddenly understood why Thorin thought he would want the room. Along the sides of the balconies were little gardens. Obviously untended, vines and wildflowers grew up from patches of dirt. “Oh it's lovely!”, Bilbo exclaimed. “All I have to do is get some seeds and this will be perfect. Do you know where I could get seeds?”

 

“I do not”, Thorin admitted. “I am glad you like it, but I should probably...”

 

He drifted off, and Bilbo glanced at him, eyebrows raised questioningly. He had to strain to hear the dwarf mutter something about giving flowers and first gifts. For a second, Bilbo felt as though he might faint when realizing Thorin's intentions.

 

“Wait, Thorin. You want to court _me_ ?”, Bilbo gaped.

 

The King gave him a indecipherable look, “Of course. You have done more than you ever needed to help me and my kin. And you are my”. He paused and said slowly, “I don't know if hobbits are like dwarves in this regard, but we have Ones. They are the only person we will ever love, no matter who they are. You are mine.”

 

Bilbo blinked and tried to close his hanging mouth. “I don't know... We don't...”

 

Thorin interrupted, leaning in to grab Bilbo's hands, “I will not force you into anything. But if you think that you could care for me, please let me court you.”

 

Bilbo stared at him, and thought about just a few months back he had believed that Thorin would never return his feelings.

 

“Yes, you silly dwarf.”

 

* * *

 

A day later, Bilbo was accosted in the hallway by Dís, who bear-hugged him without warning.

 

Dropping him, she grinned and said, “I hear my idiot brother finally gave in and asked you. If he starts being too stupid, just let me know and I'll go smack some sense into him for you.”

 

“Thanks Dís, but I think I can handle Thorin.”

 

He wasn't at all shocked when Kíli and Fíli also dragged him off to discuss his new relationship. Or when, by the end of the week, all the members of the Company had said something to him about it, ranging from threatening Thorin should anything happen to offering support or approval.

 

Bilbo just accepted the advice and help, and went back to trying not to freak out. As much as he wanted this relationship to work out, all he could see were the failures that had been such a major part of his past.

 

Discreetly, he used his honest curiosity about dwarven courting to investigate how they felt about people who don't care as much about sex as others. To his surprise, he found that there was a large portion of the dwarven population who didn't care about physical intimacy. However, most of the those dwarves were also against romance, and avoided courting. Bilbo didn't want to be assumed uninterested in love, and worried over how to approach the matter with Thorin.

 

Their relationship was progressing quickly, bolstered by the fact that they had already known each other fairly well before beginning it. Bilbo had scrambled to give Thorin a more appropriate first gift than Thorin's, which had been rather extravagant. He managed to find some lovely flowers, that got the message he wanted across, and Thorin helped him plant them in his new garden.

 

It wasn't long before Bilbo got the feeling that everyone else around him was wondering when it was appropriate to move into the second stage of courting. He knew he had to speak with Thorin now, before they got in too deep.

 

They had been spending more and more time together. Bilbo often found that one of them would seek out the other at the end of day. One day, he waited until Thorin was finished with his meetings for the day, then dragged the dwarf into his rooms. Thorin followed him, looking bemused.

 

“I need to talk to you”, Bilbo said. He pulled away from the King and sat on the bed. Thorin sensed the seriousness of the situation, and grabbed a chair. “Oh goodness, I don't know where to start.”

 

Bilbo buried his face in his hands, doing his best not to shake, terrified of messing up. He could hear Thorin shifting, and the dwarf probed, trying to get a grasp on his mood. “Are you upset with me?” he asked.

 

“No, no. It's not anything like that,” Bilbo groaned.

 

He could feel Thorin beginning to try another topic, and cut him off first. “You dwarves are very different to hobbits. You have so many who are perfectly happy to never marry or sleep with another, but to a hobbit, not wanting to do either of that is to be an outcast.”

 

“Bilbo” Thorin started but the hobbit cut him off.

 

“I've never been very interested in sex. I thought you might want to know since it's the reason why none of my other courtships worked out”, Bilbo blurted.

 

Thorin froze.

 

Bilbo held his breath.

 

Thorin jumped up, and Bilbo began to flinch back only to find arms wrapped around him. “I swear on my honor, if anyone ever tries to make you feel bad about yourself again, they will beg for your forgiveness.”

 

“It's-it's okay”, Bilbo whispered into Thorin's coat. “Most of them never even found how I felt, they just complained that I wasn't as into it as they were.”

 

Thorin's voice was cold. “And those who did know.” It wasn't a question, not really.

 

“She thought I needed to be fixed.” Now that he had started, Bilbo found himself spilling the entire story to Thorin. By the end, he could hear a low growl in the back of the King's throat.

 

“That woman is a horrid creature who deserves that worst that Mahal can throw at her”, Thorin annouced.

 

Calmer, Bilbo scolded Thorin, “C'mon now, it's not her fault we are taught different things in the Shire.”

* * *

 

It took an hour to get Thorin to stop swearing revenge on various hobbits.

 

* * *

 

Although it was nice to know that Thorin cared for him, sometimes the protectiveness went just a little bit overboard. For example, when it took literal weeks for Bilbo to convince Thorin that he was okay with having sex, he just didn't crave it. In fact, he even enjoyed it if Thorin did too. He knew Thorin wasn't like him, and wanted to provide for his partner, but the first few tries ended with Thorin freaking out about making him uncomfortable.

 

At least they had managed to work everything out in the end (on that point).

 

But this, _this_ was going way to far.

 

“Thorin, I know we are getting married soon, and you're worried about the reactions of your people.

 

But I swear by the Green Lady, if you are _seriously_ thinking about giving my own squadron of guards, I will not talk to you for a _year_ .”

 

 


End file.
